


Fluffy Moogles

by theskywasblue



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Crack, Food, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-05
Updated: 2010-10-05
Packaged: 2017-10-12 11:10:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theskywasblue/pseuds/theskywasblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reno has no taste</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fluffy Moogles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seshats_prodigy](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=seshats_prodigy).



"What?"

Rude narrowed his eyes, in his best _stop fucking around_ stare, hoping to convey every ounce of his displeasure over the horrifying mess of goo on his plate. When that didn't work, he said succinctly, "I'm not putting that in my mouth."

"Rude, man," Reno's eyes went all wide and pleading – a look which worked on unwary girls at dive bars, but never, ever on Rude. Except maybe once. "This is the best custard pie in Midgar. Hell, it's the best pie on the _continent_."

"It's green."

It was, too. Bright, Mako green. And it wasn't even holding a nice slice-of-pie shape; it was slowly collapsing, spreading outwards over the plate with what Rude felt was an obvious malignancy. In fact, he was starting to think that the absence of anyone else in the restaurant – save one very bored-looking waitress perched behind the cash register smack-chewing loudly at a piece of bubblegum – as a sign that everyone else who had ever dared to even think of dining there had died a slow and horrible death from food poisoning.

Except Reno, apparently. But Reno didn't count; Reno had a stomach of iron. He was the guy who took all those _drink this random glass of black sludge containing everything that's been in the break-room fridge for more than a month_ and _how many marshmallows can you cram into your face and still say "fluffy moogles"?_ bets. It was inhuman, not to mention disgusting; even if it could be good for a laugh once and a while.

Reno scooped a little of the putrid slop onto the end of his fork and held it out to Rude, looking entirely too hopeful, even as Rude crushed his lips into a tight line and glared from behind his sunglasses. Reno looked dejected and popped the bite into his own mouth. The sight made Rude faintly nauseous - and he had the constitution of any good ShinRa employee, able to face down things that would send most normal men screaming into the night.

"You'd love it if you tried it."

"I'm not five."

"Which is why you should try it, yo." Another sloppy, oozing mouthful. Rude gagged a little. "Since when are you afraid of risks, man?"

"Since they could give me a tapeworm."

Reno went quiet, sucking thoughtfully on his fork, and Rude felt an all-too-familiar prickle run up the back of his neck.

"I could make it worth your while..." Reno flashed his best entirely seductive smirk. Rude locked the muscles in his spine and forced himself not to shift in his chair.

"No."

"You...me...and a slice of custard pie." Reno hummed, touching his finger to his plate, swirling it in little circles through a mess of radioactive custard. Rude pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and willed himself not to imagine the grotesque stuff smeared on the pale stretch of Reno's chest, caught up in lines of muscle. "That'd be fun."

Rude opened his mouth to say _"Not in a million years you crazy son of a bitch"_ but Reno was already flagging down the waitress, getting the pie boxed up to go.

-End-


End file.
